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 Dominique Khoury is a queer, Arab, Catholic femme whose passions are social justice and singing. She spoke with Katrina Fox.
People make a lot of assumptions about 21-year-old Dominque Khoury, a third-year student of social work at the University of Western Sydney (UWS). If it’s not her religion, it’s her sexuality.
“There are a lot of misconceptions about Arab people,” she tells CHERRIE. “That they’re rapists and terrorists, and that’s not the case. I’ve had people assume I’m Muslim or Catholic because of personality traits. One day recently I was in a foul mood and having a conversation with someone and they’re like ‘Oh you’re Muslim aren’t you?’, and I’m like, ‘No’. They associate that aggressive nature with someone being Muslim [but] most days I’m a happy and vivacious person. Other times people assume I’m Catholic and Christian.”
Khoury is indeed Catholic. Born in Sydney’s south west, she comes from a Lebanese background.
She’s also queer. “I’m not particularly fond of labels,” she says. “I’m attracted to human beings, to souls, to minds but I’ve only ever been with women. I usually tell people I’m 90 per cent lesbian and 10 per cent straight, but it depends on the person.” When asked how she reconciles her sexuality with a religion whose pundits espouse homosexuality as a sin, she replies, “I try not to think about that aspect. I believe God made us this way. I don’t have control of my sexuality; I don’t think anyone does. The way I feel is innate.”
Khoury admits her queerness “doesn’t sit particularly well” with her family. “I’m not completely out,” she says. “The important people know. I came out as bisexual when I was 13.
I was quite defensive – I wrote my mum this nasty letter. I was going through all this teenage stuff, saying ‘You must accept me for who I am and this is who I am’, and I guess growing up in a very conservative Catholic background with three brothers who are Lebanese, it didn’t sit so well with them so I felt the need to defend myself. These days I’m much less defensive and only reveal my sexuality if people ask – and that’s not very often I tell you!” she laughs.
But even in the queer community, Khoury encounters discrimination and sometimes outright bigotry. “A lot of people assume I’m straight,” she says. “There are many facets to my personality and my sexuality is an important aspect of who I am and who I’ve become and it’s difficult to explain sometimes to people in the queer community – no one has ever assumed I’m gay! If I’m with another female they assume it’s my friend.”
Racism is also, unfortunately, present in the GLBTIQ community – as Khoury found out when she participated in the queer Arab float Beit el Hob in the Mardi Gras Parade earlier this year. “This Anglo white guy walked past me and said ‘Dirty queer Arab’ or ‘Dirty Arab slut’, something like that and I was heartbroken,” she laments. “I’m quite a strong woman but sensitive too. Someone on the float took me aside and said, ‘Don’t worry, we get this everywhere; it’s ignorance’.”
With discrimination coming at her from all angles, it would be easy for Khoury to be bitter and aggressive, but she’s quite the opposite. She comes across as a self-assured, positive and compassionate young woman who spends her spare time advocating for human rights. She was recently elected as the Queer Officer at UWS and is undertaking her final-year placement at the Gender Centre.
And did I mention that she sings? “Music is one of my greatest passions, it’s like food to me; I can’t live without it,” she enthuses. “If I could live on stage I would! I’d sleep on stage.” Khoury describes her musical tastes as “eclectic” and has wowed audiences with her covers of soulful ballads at the 2007 Lesbian Idol competition, placing among the top five singers in Sydney.
As if that’s not enough, Khoury also does motivational speaking for a health organisation once a month, to inspire young women to fulfil their dreams. “We all need a push sometimes, someone to bring out that positivity in you,” she says.
“Growing up I was the overweight kid with no friends and going to school my sexuality came out and I was very much discriminated against. I’ve always been a confident person but due to those experiences and experiencing domestic violence and abuse as a child from a family member I’ve learnt to be resilient. So I wake up in the morning and try to be as optimistic as I can and to live each day as if it’s my last.”
Dominique Khoury performs at Feminist Fatalis Cabaret, 30 May, 7.30pm at the Women’s Library, Brown St, Newtown, Sydney. More info at www.myspace.com/dominiquekhoury
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