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‘BUTCH’, ‘FEMME’, ‘LIPSTICK LESBIAN’: Do these labels still have a place in today's world? Asks Sarah Hannah Fisher 
In the mainstream media, the majority of lesbians are usually portrayed as beautiful feminine women, perfectly groomed, trotting along in stiletto heels. These women often have equally attractive and feminine partners. On the other side of the coin, we see tomboyish-looking women with short hair, baggy masculine clothes, gritted teeth and clenched fists; they’re strong, tough, wear leather jackets and sport tattoos.
Are these stereotypes still true? What do they actually mean? What if you don’t fit into one of them? And what if you do?
Sofia* is 25 with long blonde hair and a slim hourglass figure. Her nails are perfectly manicured, her lips are a glossy pink and she carries a Gucci handbag. “You can call me a lipstick lesbian,” she says. “I read Vogue; I drink champagne with strawberries; I put designer shoes on lay buy.”
The term lipstick lesbian can be traced back to the early 1980s when a journalist in San Francisco used the phrase and it begun to get widespread usage in the 1990s.
Generally, the term lipstick lesbian is used to describe a stereotypical feminine woman who is attracted to other feminine women.
“I don’t mind the lipstick lesbian label. I find it fairly cute, in a way,” Sofia says. “But when I first came out, there were a lot of mixed reactions … My family all figured I was just in an ‘experimental stage’.
Some of my friends just thought I was doing it to attract men. I take pride in my appearance and I am attracted to others who do the same. I like other women who fit the stereotype because we share so many common interests. We can go shopping together, get manicures and massages together.”
There are, however, downsides to the label, Sofia admits. “The only thing that bugs me is when people think I am ashamed of being gay; that I am trying to pretend I am a straight woman. I was actually at a gay bar recently with my ex-girlfriend and some friends, and someone pulled me aside, politely informing me that this was actually a gay bar.
I’ve always loved girly things. Why should my sexual preferences mean I have to adopt entirely new interests? I am just being myself.”
The label femme is often confused with lipstick lesbian in that femme women also have typically feminine mannerisms and characteristics. The difference is that a femme woman is often, but by no means exclusively, attracted to a typically butch lesbian, characterised by having strong male attributes in their physical appearance as well as their behaviours.
Another major difference is the notion that the femme stereotype doesn’t just apply to appearances; it also encompasses political feminist ideals.
Jolene*, 29, is a proud femme lesbian. “I personally think the term femme describes a gay woman who has feminist ideals,” she asserts. “It is about the choice to either abstain from typically feminine principles or to embrace them. I don’t think being femme is restricted to the application of make-up or anything; it is something deeper, and if someone wants to label me like that, it’s fine.”
Courtney* and Lisa*, both 27, are in a butch-femme relationship and have mixed feelings about the labels. “I don’t really care about being referred to as butch,” Courtney says. “I don’t see it as a bad thing; it’s more to describe how you present yourself. It’s superficial. And I do fit the stereotype: I’m muscled, I have short hair, I have tattoos. I like sports [and] I could never, ever wear high heels.”
Lisa on the other hand believes stereotypes reduce people to a product and often lead to incorrect and offensive assumptions about their relationship.
“I hate that people assume we’re trying to recreate heterosexual male and female gender roles,” she says. “People in the gay community sometimes presume because I am the more feminine-looking in the relationship that I do the cooking and cleaning while Courtney is more of the breadwinner.”
Jolene agrees with Lisa on the misconceptions many people have of typical gender roles in butch-femme relationships.
“The concept of gender is becoming ambiguous,” she says. “I think femme is a stereotype that is going to become one of the forefronts of a new gender definition. Being femme isn’t a role I play. I like girly things but I also reject the patriarchal values that Lisa is describing.”
Perhaps it’s part of human nature to stereotype and put people in a box. With the ’90s came a genderqueer revolution where GLBTIQ people created new and innovative labels to describe themselves, while older labels were given new definitions. It can be argued that this is a positive step towards evolving language to be inclusive, or that embracing labels is a backward step.
“Who cares if you can fit into a label or not?” says Sofia. “Most women I know [whether] gay, bi, straight, transgender … they seem to have a little bit of all the gay stereotypes in them. Why should it matter?”
* Names changed
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