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 ‘Being queer is all about the sex.’ How often have you heard this? Whether you’re a gay man or a lusciously lovely lesbian, it’s supposedly all about the sex. I think it goes right along with the popular rumour that all of us queers know each other and have our own ‘mafia’.
Are we all about sex? I, personally, do love sex. I write about it, dream about it and thoroughly enjoy it. My gay friends feel the same way. But are we all about sex?
In comparison to the average straight Jane we seem to be. Here, in my humble opinion (I cannot speak for everyone), is why.
We, as lesbians, embrace our vaginas whereas most women consider the topic taboo, like it’s something to be ashamed of or private about. They consider it ‘dirty’ or ‘stinky’ and I’ve even heard one woman admit that she felt sorry for her husband when he pleasured her orally!
Lesbians, on the other hand: we celebrate the vagina. The whole enchilada, er so to speak. The lips, the opening, the glorious clitoris. We love it, please it, worship it, fuck it, suck it and lick it. We also pierce it, groom it, photograph it, sculpt it and paint it. Did I miss anything?
And when it comes to sex itself, we have the passion of a woman times two. Woman + Woman. What a powerful equation. Passion, desire, tenderness, intimacy, understanding, soft, hard, lips, tongue, fingers … How lucky we are. And how wonderful it is to live with pride and passion. Pride in our bodies and passion for those we love.
So are we all about the sex? Yes, generally speaking, we do love women, love giving pleasure, love the intimacy and all that passion. But sex isn’t all that we’re about. There are many facets to each and every lesbian. Just as there are with any human being. (But that’s a whole other enchilada.)
We don’t shy away from sex, whether it be doing or talking. That, to me, is the biggest difference.Thankfully, I think the world is catching up. More and more women (of varying sexualities) are stepping out of that dark, shameful closet. They are embracing their sexuality, feeding their libidos and freeing themselves from the hush-hush of shame.
So love on, my fellow females. Love on.
Ronica Black
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